Over the past two weeks I’ve received hundreds of e-mails from individuals who are receiving healing as a result of the Pure Sex teaching series we’re involved in at RiverTree. I’ve posted three below that I pray will be an encouragement to anyone who is struggling, damaged or simply desires to have the best sex life ever. You can listen to the teachings in their entirety at www.rivertreechristian.com.
Hi Greg, great stuff and the teaching series has been great. I wanted to share with you how much the series has helped me. I was a victim of sexual abuse as a child. Twice. By two different men. One was a mother’s boyfriend (who she broke up with after I told her), and also my best friend from next door’s dad. I had thought all of it was behind me after it was reported to the local police. I didn’t really think much about it. Then, in the sixth grade, the District Attorney called and asked me to go to court…what a load to put on an 11 year old girl. I went to court and found out that my friend’s father had done this to her and all of her sisters as well as several other girls. Mine was the only testimony that didn’t get thrown out. He got 6 years! Okay, again I thought it was all in the past. However, now that I’m 32 and have a 12 year old daughter, I have a whole new perspective on how this has affected my life. I became sexually active with the first real boyfriend that I had at the age of 15. I thought that sex was all I was worth. I had sex a lot as a teenager, and was more hurt and ashamed each time. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about this because I couldn’t talk to my parents. I was too ashamed, and their sex talk consisted of “just don’t do it”. I got pregnant at age 18 (just one year after the man I helped to convict was let out of jail). I delivered at age 19, got married at age 19, and was divorced by 25. After my divorce, my history affected my life even worse because my husband cheated. I felt even more alone and ashamed. I was very promiscuous. I just needed to feel as though someone loved me. Luckily, I knew Jesus as I had grown up in a Christian house after my mother re-married. But still, I just had to get rid of the pain and shame and I didn’t feel as though I could ask for God’s help. I didn’t think I could do things the way he wanted. It was just too hard. I thank God that I didn’t end up with an std. I think I owe that to God watching over me the whole time. At age 28, I met a man who I became engaged to. We were planning our future, but again sex was at the forefront of the relationship. I knew that if we were going to get married and have a family I would want to go to church and have a relationship with Jesus (I know that is the only way to have a happy marriage). We began to attend RiverTree, and because we bore no condemnation, I rededicated my life to Christ. My future husband gave his heart to Christ as we lay in bed together, unmarried. We are now married and have a new baby, who you dedicated yourself. We have had a lot of talks since your series began, and we have also asked each other for forgiveness for having sex before marriage. Although I know that I have a lot of healing ahead of me, your series has started this process for me. Thank you for following what God has placed on your heart.
I want to say this teaching series you are doing on sex is awesome and so needed in this community. I believe there is still a huge stronghold on the community and there are still many that are living in sexual bondage. With the freedom and healing the Lord has given me I have been able to work actively in a ministry in Akron to those who are sexually broken the last 6 years. For myself about 8 years ago I was living in a lot of darkness. I did not understand the impact the child abuse had on my sexual identity (I was abused multiple times by different female babysitters). The abuse caused me to be sexually confused and I often struggled with fear of women and then a subsequent struggle of same-sex attraction (at that time men were safer than women). I was secretly struggling and going deeper and deeper into a pit. But the Lord in his grace called me out of this and I came forward and confessed to my wife (4 years into our marriage) my childhood abuse and same-sex attraction and pornograhpy issues (although I had struggled with heterosexual attraction too). For many, my wife and I looked like the “normal” couple with a bucolic family life. When I stood courageously and told people this was not so –it allowed others who were secretly struggling to come forth and receive healing.
I was in the car with my son last Friday evening. The drive would last about 8 minutes but somehow, God did something amazing. Out of the blue, my son made the following statement: “Man, what we are learning in health class is disgusting!” This obviously got my attention and after a few probing questions, I found out that the school was teaching about sex in health class. Not the old this is what makes boys different than girls talk but actually discussing sexual intercourse. I’ve got to tell you, I was really uncomfortable with the school teaching this and I had never had “the talk” with my son.
After I got over my initial reaction, my son and I went on to have a discussion about sex from a Biblical perspective. We talked about his feelings on the matter and as any 11 year old boy would do, he claimed he was not interested. But he kept talking about it.
To make a long 8 minute story short, God gave me the chance to explain to my son God’s view and design regarding sex. I explained to him that I felt that sex was more than a physical act between 2 people. That it had real emotional and spiritual benefits and consequences. I had the opportunity to discuss the problems that I had as a result of engaging in sex outside of marriage and he admitted to me that he had figured that out since our daughter was born before we got married. It was an amazing conversation that continued when I returned home and told my wife about the discussion. Now she and I are discussing how to teach our kids (especially our girls) about sex. We both agree that we want our kids to abstain. I never thought I could have these discussions since I was guilty of sex before marriage and thank God that he gave me the strength and the courage to discuss sex from a Biblical perspective.
Thank you for talking about sex to me and to my family.