If you have had a child throw up while in bed with you . . .
If you have changed a diaper and wondered what in the world that child ate . . .
If you know how to make at least three different kinds of macaroni and cheese . .
If you know all the words to Itsy Bitsy Spider, I’m A Little Teapot, and The Alphabet Song . . .
If you have purple ketchup in your refrigerator . . .
If you have watched Finding Nemo, The Wizard of Oz, or any episode of Veggie Tales more than ten times . . .
If you have ever wanted to call an exorcist . . .
If you have ever wanted to kill the merchandiser who put candy next to the cashier at grocery stores . . .
If you have read Goodnight Moon for at least 14 consecutive nights . . .
If you have ever said, “Because I said so . . .”
If you have ever made Play-Doh, tasted Play-Doh, or picked Play-Doh out of the carpet . . .
If you have ever used your own spit to clean your child’s face . . .
If you have ever stayed up half the night praying . . .
Thank-you. And happy Mother’s Day.