I have been torn about whether or not to write about this–it is very personal.
Julie and I received a call from the Christian Children’s Home of Ohio last night. A young black lady is releasing her new born baby for adoption this coming week. She will actually give birth to a little boy this Friday via c-section.
We have decided to move forward with this possibility. We will know by Wednesday evening if we have been matched by the adoption agency she is using. If we are, the baby will be brought into our home on Monday, March 11th.
I can’t begin to tell you the emotion that comes with this. Probably because, from the beginning of this journey, I have felt compelled to adopt a little black boy. The thought of this happening so quickly is absolutely amazing. Either way, Julie and I have a deep trust that God’s plan will be accomplished.
I decided to write this because I want people to know at least a bit of the journey so many adoptive parents experience. If you are inclined to pray we simply ask you to pray that God’s will be done.
If you are interested in caring for children through foster care or adoption, please check out www.borninourhearts.org.
My prayer is that the the LORD will open this door of adoption if it is His will. I appreciate and admire your desire to adopt a baby. May God bless you and your family in an amazing way.
I will enjoy continue reading your blog to see what happens.
Thank you so much for sharing even a small part of your journey with us. Your family’s courage and love is a shining light to all.
As an adopted child, I’ve had the opportunity to talk to several birth mothers and adopting parents over the years. They all wanted to know if I felt abandoned or if I had some deep indescribable need to reconnect with a lost part of who I was. My answer to all of them was the same. No.
I think TV shows and after-school-specials make people think that all adopted children spend their life feeling incomplete, or that they weren’t wanted. That they will eventually run off in search of their long-lost birth mother. I can tell you, at least for me, it is all rubbish.
The truth is I was loved twice! Some courageous young couple loved me enough to give me up, then another courageous young couple loved me enough to take me in as their own. When I was younger, I remember feeling a little sad for my sisters, as they were born after I came along as natural children to my new parents. Isn’t that crazy! I remember being sad for them that they weren’t loved twice like me.
I can also say that my new parents made some amazing decisions when I was very young, that made all the difference as I grew older.
I don’t ever remember a time (like on TV) when they sat me down and said “Kerri, we have something to tell you”. I just always knew I was adopted. I found out later when I was older, that they talked to be about it before I even understood what it meant. So, as I grew up, I just knew.
The other amazing thing they did was convey, in all ways possible, how special I was. To this day at 37 years old, I know I’m special…unique…blessed.
The story of my adoption that my father told me (which I retold as fact in grade-school in front of my class!!) goes like this:
Dave and Donna went to the hospital to get a baby of their own. They walked past large glass windows looking in on a room full of children (I pictured them all sitting on the floor playing). They were searching for just the right one. Then he saw me. He said he picked me because I had a crooked-head. Out of all those kids, they picked me!
I told that story to my whole class! I thought that’s how adoption worked. Amazing what a child’s mind can conjure. But, whether it was fact or fiction is irrelevant. The message was clear, I was chosen, I was loved.
There are a few minor things that are unfortunate realities of being adopted. As a woman about to get married and have children of her own soon, I wish I knew my medical history. I was adopted through the county welfare system, and laws by state/county vary over the years. Getting non-identifiable information is tricky. Even if you get it, it could be 2 sentances, or pages of information. For me, I know nothing of them accept that they were young and heading to college. Knowing my medical history isn’t critical, but may be helpful. Who knows.
Also, family heritage is an odd thing many might not ever think about. But, growing up with so many around you holding some value to their heritage, or family origin, made me wonder sometimes. I had strawberry-blonde hair, freckles, and fair skin, was I of Irish decent? Again, who knows. But fun to ponder.
Also, if I ever had the opportunity to meet or speak with my birth parents, I would do so in a heartbeat. Not for myself, but for them. I can’t imagine what they went through 37 years ago, or if they are curious, or worried if I feel like those silly TV shows. I would want them to know I love them, and thank them for their courage, and tell them my amazing story.
Happy journey, Greg. Any child would be blessed to be part of your lives. Remember, they are loved twice!
If you know of anyone who’d like to talk more, from an adopted child’s perspective, feel free to contact me. ([email protected])
Thanks for sharing the big stuff. My prayer will be Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on this child and his mother. Thy will be done. Help Greg, Julie and Tab to want your will and be humble to it.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful and kind words of encouragement.
Your experiential insights are of great value to me personally.
**DISCLAIMER**(NOT sending this for you to post, debated not sending it at all or maybe just cloaking safely under the guise of “anonymous” to prevent identifying myself with what most religious people I know consider very taboo–the mixing of Christian beliefs– as observed through my pentecostal, independent baptist,I don’t go to church,non-denominational,greek orthodox, rivertree, lifelong journey…thank God that God is more merciful and bigger than our little human divisions of Him)
Sending this for you to have a look at some good stuff about the will of God I am getting today, thought it was pretty neat that after reading your thoughts praying and posting that quick prayer I “accidentally” ;) was drawn to check another of my favorite web spots and found this even deeper message into my day of wanting excepting and living in actual HAPPINESS with the perfect will of God. The core of that is I guess what goes across people of a lot of different “theologies” –the ones who truly get the goal as the Kingdom of God -the will of God- every moment of our lives.
I have worshipped in several different settings, Rivertree is one of my favorite – my husband and I became partners. The monastery in Hayesville is another. (I know, odd combo but the neat thing is that in spite of the obvious,the theological differences the stigmas, dogmas or whatever they are of places not entirely agreeing, both agree on the big stuff –some sweet nuggets of truth are universal. Who are we to question the route God takes in showing them to us, especially when we are so human and like to ignore what we don’t want to see away. Real peace is praying and living in the center of humbly accepting and wanting more of His will and not in what we think would make us complete.
So here it is- a couple of the bright spots- like one beggar telling another where to find lenten bread (not that you need it, but I do)–and my soul is singing from the thought that God is speaking to me this morning in a very big, quiet, profound yet simple way.
“When God’s will is accepted by a human soul with simplicity and humility, then something quite divine begins to manifest itself in that soul. The sick soul starts to become a healthy soul. The sick mind begins to function normally again. And sometimes even a sick body is healed. We accept God’s will, God’s providence, in our lives not by reading books about it, although books can certainly sometimes be helpful, and not by having a lot of curious speculation and theorizing about it, but by simply doing it, doing God’s will, which is shown to us in all of the small and great tasks of each day.”
“In fulfilling the duties of each and every moment we are using our will in a holy manner, choosing to trust God and abandon ourselves to His will. We begin to see that nothing matters, and nothing is even very real or of value unless it is part of God’s will. “Apart from this divine will all is hollow, empty, null, there is nothing but falsehood, vanity, nothingness, death.” (de Causade) God’s will must be everything for us—the health and life of both body and soul—and therefore we don’t have figure everything out for ourselves in order to form some judgment of the worth of what we are doing for God. We just do it.”
All creatures that exist are in the hands of God. If we have faith in God then we can see that everything that happens around us and to us is somehow in the will of God. So we must embrace the fleeting moments of life and see God’s activity in all of them, no matter how small, or difficult, or annoying. There isn’t a single instant in which God is not present, even though it may be a moment of pain or sorrow. Everything is capable of revealing Him to us.
“How to sum up this message this morning? We must stop trying to figure everything out for ourselves—which is a very complicated and largely unsuccessful approach to spiritual life—and start looking for God’s will in the duties of each moment. Instead of operating on our own feelings, which are quite unreliable and fleeting, we must look bravely at what God has presented us to accomplish in each moment. We must see no task as demeaning or lower than we are; for all of our responsibilities are capable of leading us to holiness, to God.
“Every joy, every sorrow, every cross, every blessing, brings God to us in a marvelous way that we could never imagine.”
“Every joy, every sorrow, every cross, every blessing, brings God to us in a marvelous way that we could never imagine. We know that we receive His precious body and blood in Holy Communion, but it’s also possible to receive Him in the actions and events of each day. Above all, it is His divine will to unite Himself to us at every opportunity. We are the ones who either make that possible or impossible, by our attitudes and behaviors. Yet even if we are very great sinners, God is still wanting to be united to us. As long as we breathe He doesn’t give up, doesn’t abandon us. And our union with Him is all the more intense and full when He comes to us in our sorrows and problems. God chooses these times as ways in which to come closest to us, if only we will let Him. In this way, our life becomes a kind of perpetual spiritual festival. The more we learn to rest in Christ in each moment, the more our hard and dreary days are transformed into peaceful and joyous days.
Now, all of you know how much I love books. I surround myself with them by choice and continue to collect them even in my senior years and my illness. I average reading three books most weeks. And nothing gives me more pleasure than to read spiritual books. And yet, I know that we can learn far more about God and the spiritual life by being attentive to the Lord in the given duties and events of each day, than by reading books. The practice of the presence of God in daily life is the greatest book of all.
So God teaches in each moment of each day, with each task or event, and if we are paying attention then we learn and grow. This is a spiritual science all it’s own. We learn, then, by experience. This is a divine school, if only we will submit to being obedient students in this school! By trying to listen to God in each moment we begin to grow in virtue, for virtue is what Christ is trying to teach us, and He speaks to us in that language.
Christ said in Scripture that He would make a river of water to flow from within us, and this is how it happens, by listening to Him in every task and duty of each day instead of running after “other” voices—especially voices that come to us from our secular and often profane culture. We wear ourselves out trying to listen to those voices, and we ignore the voice of the Lord speaking to us at the same time.
God wants us to be saints. That is our destiny. But do we ourselves want to be saints? This is the great question, isn’t it? Do we want to be saints? For if we do, then we must give ourselves up to God and His divine providence for us in each moment of each day, just as the saints themselves learned to do. God is inexhaustibly active within us and around us, working so hard—usually without our cooperation—to turn us into saints. And so much of His divine energy seems to be wasted because of our laziness, our thoughtlessness, and our lack of spiritual focus.
Brothers and sisters, we are called, in each moment, to let God Himself be our book and our science, the object of our attention and our study. So, from this moment, from this day, let us begin to do so. And how, in fact, do we “begin” ? By prayer. Specifically by the Jesus Prayer. By making used of this prayer in every spare moment of each day and also while we are working and pursuing our various tasks. Without prayer, we cannot “listen” to God and we will not hear Him, even though His Holy Spirit is constantly speaking to us every moment.
In the Name of the Father, Son, and Holy S
Clipped from the homilies…
God be with you today, Greg; with sweetness, peace and joy on your journey in His will, I will be praying that prayer I posted earlier every day this week for you all. Please pray for me to accept God’s will in my life also and thanks again for being part of my journey.
God’s Blessings to the Nettle family!!! As U embark into your adoption. It is so worth all of the tears. As we look at our Daughter, we are amazed at God’s miracle and are thankful that we get to be a part of something so Awesome. May God’s will be done in your future family.
Jason & Judy Skelley